Go Write a Letter...: May 2011

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Dear Ezyreg,

Not only am I forced to give you 143 of my hard earned dollars tonight, I have to remember to have another go at it in an hour's time because you're currently unavailable due to website maintenance.

I hate you.

Sara.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Dear internet,

While I think it's utterly wonderful that you can download me some movies at 790kBps for my sister to watch while she's off on a cruiseship, could you maybe do it at 780kBps, and leave me with enough bandwidth to load a page?

Regards Sara.

P.S. Yes, I do know there is a setting in bittorrent that allows me to cap my combined upload and download speed. I just can't be bothered.

P.P.S. Fine, I'll do it.

So in our household, whenever someone's cross about something, or just having a petty whinge, we will nod sagely and them and say in a very serious tone of voice: "You should so totally go write a letter." Sometimes we say "Oh my god" before it, even though we're all atheist.

But we don't really mean they should write an actual letter, just like we don't believe that if there's a god he's actually ours.

Or do we? On the basis that if one turns out to be true then the other one will as well, I'm gunna start writing some letters. Hopefully I will subsequently acquire a god in much the same way that this time last year I spontaneously acquired a cat. And he can sleep under my bed and I can give him a name, and take him to the vet to get him neutered, lest we end up with little godletts all over the place.

Cause if that happened, I'd be cross, and some one would say to me "Oh your gods, you should like, totally write a letter."

And I would pull on my thinking face and say "Yes, yes I should." And when that day comes, I'll come here.