Dear Me in the Mirror,

Pointing and laughing at me is neither helpful nor useful.

Please desist ASAP.

Regards, me.

Dear Me of 4 hours ago,

You forgot to turn the oven off. Again. You're damn lucky I checked.

To dear the observing aliens,

I know our ways may be confusing to you, but our habit of congregating in public places, consuming toxins and then playing with our phones instead of actually talking to one another is strange to us too...

Dear social life,

I'm bored with you now.

To dear mythbusters

Can you please test whether or not you get better phone service by holding your phone to your head? I'm pretty sure you do, since you get a lot better range on the car remotes when they're at your head, but it would be nice to know for sure. Also, it would stop me from looking like a knob by doing it every time I need something to send or upload.

To dear Anna, Meagan and Brenton.

Although I won't tell it to your face, I am so fucking pissed off at the lot of you right now. If it was all going to be so fucking hard why did we come in the first place? Why am I the one that has to tiptoe around and keep all of you from having your little breakdowns but how I'm feeling and what I want to do is completely disregarded? Why did we come to Adelaide to party and then sit at home on a Saturday night? Why didn't we just drive home tonight instead of spending an extra $200 on a hotel room? We left the show at 9.30, we could be in Penola by now, and you'd all be getting your lovely nights sleep in your beds at home ready for tomorrow, when you have to start work at FIVE IN THE EVENING. Instead you've all gone and whinged about how tired you are and how you've got no money, after you went and spent a couple of hundred at the show, and gone to bed.

What a fucking lovely evening out this has been.


...I get that some aspects of your lives suck, I do. I spend all my time being understanding, and mediating, and helping through your problems. But seriously, harden the fuck up.

Your friend, Sara.

To my one and only throat,

You really need to make up your mind. I'm quite alright with you being sore if my voice goes away and then I don't have to go to work but if you're just gunna be sore and let my voice keep working, well, that's no fun.

Regards, Sara.