Go Write a Letter...: February 2011

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Dear Dishes,

Please make like a tree* and fuck off.*

*nope, I don't really get the connection either. But some quotes are like that - they make no sense but the people around you say them often enough that they rub off on you. But I'm sure you get the gist.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

To Dear the people in the Mitsubishi ASX advert,

Having that car in the city does not make you look cool. It makes you look like a pair of douches. You do not need a big car to get down a narrow lane to get your bloody pizza. It's totally counter intuitive. Go buy a goddamn Swift.

So in our household, whenever someone's cross about something, or just having a petty whinge, we will nod sagely and them and say in a very serious tone of voice: "You should so totally go write a letter." Sometimes we say "Oh my god" before it, even though we're all atheist.

But we don't really mean they should write an actual letter, just like we don't believe that if there's a god he's actually ours.

Or do we? On the basis that if one turns out to be true then the other one will as well, I'm gunna start writing some letters. Hopefully I will subsequently acquire a god in much the same way that this time last year I spontaneously acquired a cat. And he can sleep under my bed and I can give him a name, and take him to the vet to get him neutered, lest we end up with little godletts all over the place.

Cause if that happened, I'd be cross, and some one would say to me "Oh your gods, you should like, totally write a letter."

And I would pull on my thinking face and say "Yes, yes I should." And when that day comes, I'll come here.