Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Dear Blogger,

Why did you do make that last post suddenly become all caps? Yes, I'm very cross about how cold it is in front of the doors at work, but that doesn't mean I want my opinions on the matter shouted. If anything, this blog is more of a muttered under my breath type of complaining. I'll let it go, this time, but don't be doing it again, d'you hear?

To Dear the people who designed the new fronatge for the Mt Gambier Woolies,

I hate you. I hope your heater breaks this winter and you're freezing cold at least 4 nights a week for next 5 months. Because thanks to you, and your stupid decision to move the wind blocker 3 feet east so it now blocks no wind whatsoever, I'm probably gunna die of hypothermia while working in a supermarket.

Thanks a bloody lot.

Friday, March 18, 2011

To Dear The guy in the Piece of Shit Supra,

You really should have respected Taylor. If you had of, instead of sitting next to us at the traffic lights revving your stupid, pathetic, gutless engine, we wouldn't have felt the need to wallop your pathetic, needy arse while pulling away from the traffic lights.

To Dear The Kiwi Guy Behind the Bar at Bar 108,

Thankyou for being nice. Thankyou for having the exact same conversation with me that I had hoped in my head that we would have while I was sitting out in the car quietly crapping myself that it had all turned to shit. Thankyou for having $4.50 cruisers, and thankyou for letting me have three of them in a half an hour: because of you I've just tonight learned that speed of drinking is the key to avoiding the heartburn.

Kind Regards, Sara

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Dear Writers and Producers of White Collar,

You call that a fucking ending? I've been gagging for this episode the entire damn week, I yelled at bigpond repeatedly when it took forever to download and you give me that? What the shit? You've let me down, but more than that, you've let yourselves down.

I hope you're happy.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Dear Facebook Users,

Quiet and quite are completely different words. Please make some effort to get them right.

Also, their, there and they're. Learn which one is which and use appropriately.

Regards, Sara.

To Dear Me...

Have a shower and go to bed. Stop quilting. It's late and you are sick. If you've only got as far as cutting and sorting your pieces it's unlikely you'll get the top finished tonight, even if it is only a little one. You don't have to start work till 7 tomorrow night. You can do it tomorrow. And yes, you're right, this movie seems a bit crap. You should have kept watching Rage. But it doesn't matter cause you're about to pack up and go to bed, yes?

With kind regards and an emphatic "Get Well Soon"

Dear Loose Tobacco Buyers,

When you buy a pouch of tobacco, it is either 50 GRAMS or 30 GRAMS. Milligrams are teensy. You do not want to be paying 30 bucks for 50 milligrams - That is 1% of what I'm actually giving you. It's about 3 little flakes of leaf. So get it bloody right, before I refuse to sell to stupid people like you.

On the other hand, I'll give you even more, so you'll die of lung cancer faster and raise up a little bit the average intelligence of humanity as a whole.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Dear Mum,

Seriously? You're hacking my blogger so you can comment? Go get your own account.

Regards, Sara.